April 19, 2014 - Third Round of Treatments - Song

"There's a darkness upon me that's flooded in light.
In the fine print they tell me what's wrong and what's right.
And it comes in black and it comes in white
And I'm frightened by those who don't see it."

This quote from the Avett Brothers describes my mood and attitude these days of reflection on my condition. The song is entitled "Head Full of Doubt/Road Full of Promise".

Sometimes Song is what moves me to reflect on the good and not so good that I may be feeling.  I guess you could say I'm a spiritual person. Yes, much of that comes from my religious up bringing and passion for knowing more about God.  Much of this came about by my love of Bible study, my constant need to be with faith partners from my local church and from my family and friends.  Yet I have discovered a much greater sense of my spiritual being through so much of what God is doing in my life now, yesterday and in my past life over the years of my time on his great creation.

I'm so grateful for my children James and Sarah who have become remarkable persons in their lives. James and his wife turned me onto the Avett Brothers about 10 years ago. Sarah and her husband Ryan played the song "I Will Wait" by Mumford and Sons one day last year because they wanted to show us how their 3 year old son,  Cason would start dancing as soon as he heard it played in their home. I listened to it several times and enjoyed watching how it moved a 3 year old.  So I became hooked  by Mumford and Sons. Song must be many things to move me.  These two groups move me to tears of sadness and great joy.  I commend their music to your list of wonderment and, if like me, you will see the "Spirit" in them, too.
Thanks James and Sarah and Cason. Just don't expect me to dance like y'all.

Their is great beauty in Song. While watching the recent TV presentation of  "Another Day/Another Time: Celebrating The Music of Inside Llewyn Davis" I discovered several more musicians and artist who I had never heard before and a few that I knew but now saw in new collaborations and harmony with other artists from past and present. Jack White just blew me away. The Punch Brothers were so amazing. I discovered a group called "Lake Street Dive" and fell in love with the power of  Rachel Price in her soulful Songs from their Album: "Bad Self Portraits" and specifically the cut "You Go Down Smooth".

Even Jason Maraz has become one of my favorite artists because he writes great lyrics, has a beautiful performing voice and he reminds me of James in so many ways. So as much as I love and still enjoy lots of old music from my youth and younger adult days, these contemporary artists speak to me in powerful new ways, as well.  So what does any of this rambling about Song have to do with my treatments and my health issues?

"There's a darkness upon me that's flooded in light".  The flood of light is the goodness that comes to me in times of darkness.  People I know and now many that I never knew before have entered our lives and bring great light,  flood me with light in their care, compassion, love and goodness. It's because they know about my darkness in the experience of having an incurable illness. They, like me, were "frightened by those who don't see it". When someone surrounds you with their love it shows like the brightest light you will ever see or experience. It is the great light of God, the Spirit, Force or whatever you call it that provides me great comfort and Joy these days of difficulty.

Above all, Janine my loving wife for all times in my life has been the great Song in my life.  She sings of hope, constant abiding love and is always there for my every mood or need. She is my Great Light and she knows about my darkness and set gets it and want let me forget her great bright light in my life.

Last night we were watching the season finale of "Parenthood" on TV. We had actually recorded it on our DVR previously in the week. While it was a moving finale to a season or even the end of a good TV show, as it may be, the final scene of the show had the great Bob Dylan song performed by the even greater performer, Richie Havens playing in the background "The Times They Are-A Changin". Those lyrics now taken in light of our struggles moved me to tears. It was not the TV show as much as it was the love I enjoyed in that moment sitting in our chairs watching a good show and hearing great music with my loving wife.

Thanks to you all!